A Chipotle Burrito Is Not an iPhone

disgust food advocate Matthew Yglesiashas a storey in Slatethat makes the case that “ in many slipway , the Chipotle burrito is very similar to the iPhone . ” Which would be dependable , if iPhones were totally loathsome .

Now , I will forgive Yglesias , because he does not exist in San Francisco , and so perhaps he has never had a good burrito . And of course , it is very potential that he has never used or seen an iPhone . However , were both of those conditions meet , he would know that the Chipotle burrito is nothing like an iPhone . I actually think it is fantastically likely that he has never had a real burrito , or seen an iPhone . ( Matt ! If you are ever in San Francisco , I will take you to La Taqueria and permit you play with my iPhone while we enjoy a delicious burrito . )

And okay , I get it . slating eff to be contrarian and I ’m likely just nibbling on Yglesias ’ troll sweetener here . But permit ’s look at the evidence he presents :

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Chipotle take a stock fast food experience , seduce it better , and charge a premium for that .

It is innovative , cooking meat via sous vide from Chicago and shipping across the nation .

Its assembly line prole are low pay .

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? ? ?

I ’m not sure that Yglesias intended his point about low - paid assemblage transmission line workers to be a comparison point to the iPhone , but let ’s go ahead and give him that one . hellhole , let ’s give him all those point , no matter how tenuous and ludicrous . And I ’ll even throw out in an extra one , that Yglesias give out to mention : Chipotle has a salsa ginmill , and the iPhone has a Genius Bar . Kind of .

Despite that , I still can append plenteous grounds to explain why the Chipotle burrito is not , in fact , at all like an iPhone . My primary points are as follows :

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Chipotle burrito are awful .

Perhaps I should take out that evidence a small moment .

allow ’s begin with the history of the iPhone . Before the iPhone , smart speech sound were universally horrific , with the potential exception of the Danger Sidekick . for sure , Blackberrys are still unspeakable , but by and large the iPhone was so neat from the get - go that it became the proverbial rising lunar time period put up all boats . Today , Android , Windows 7 and Web OS are all pretty amazing . Overall burrito quality has not been positively affected by the Chipotle burrito .

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Next , let ’s examine the innovations introduced by each . The iPhone introduced us to many raw features , it gave us multitouch and visual voice mail and a radically dissimilar industrial pattern than anything we ’d seen before . The Chipotle burrito is little more than a aggregative - market place transcript of the Mission Burrito . It is to the Mission burrito as a $ 49 off - brand name Android French telephone is to the iPhone .

Finally , we should face at the physique lineament . As we we said before , the Chipotle burrito essentially rip off the design of the Mission Burrito . However , in doing so , it got authoritative details wrong . The Mission Burrito is eaten vertically , by standing it on one closing , and unwrap the aluminum foil at the top side as you work your room down . It is flawless . The Chipotle burrito , on the other hand , is typically put together without care or care by those aforementioned low - paid actor . They typically stuff them so full that the ingredient come in bursting out of the side , and it is impossible to eat the burrito vertically , as the salutary Lord mean burritos to be eaten . Were the iPhone built like a Chipotle burrito , its processor would be on the outside .

In summing up , allow me to reiterate my major peak :

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