In hypothesis , at least . Keats is have a go at it for his strange experiments with nature , where he only half - jokingly endue animal like insects and plants with human status just to see what will materialise .
Here ’s how Keats excuse what he ’s doing :
The Local Air & Space Administration ( LASA ) has successfully bring two astronauts on the stony filth of a Kuiper Belt asteroid , and suffer them in good wellness for three full weeks , less than five months after the Obama Administration made travel to asteroid a home antecedency . headquarter at California State University ’s rural Chico campus under the direction of experimental philosopher Jonathon Keats , LASA has outpaced the National Aeronautics & Space Administration ( NASA ) by an estimated one to two decades , on a budget in the low three figures raised in the main from private sources .
“ We did it by revoke some central Assumption , ” confides Mr. Keats , whose previous experience include exhibiting extraterrestrial nonfigurative artwork at the Judah L. Magnes Museum . “ Instead of bothering with expensive garden rocket and fluid oxygen , we let the asteroid fall to us . Not all of it , of course , which could be severe . All we require really is one sizeable meteorite . ” Mr. Keats prepare the asteroidal territory by smashing the meteorite with a hammer . He then planted his two explorers – a twain of little succulents accustomed to rocky terrain – in stack of demolish asteroid with a provision of distilled water for a 21 - day mission . “ The cacti encountered the asteroid by osmosis , ” Mr. Keats put forward . “ For 21 days , they know as exotic beings . That ’s more than Neil Armstrong ever did . ”
Next month , LASA will attain two more coveted NASA goal decades ahead of schedule , launching simultaneous missions to the Moon and Mars . Having accumulated a small amount of lunar anorthosite from the meteorite NWA 482 , and martian shergottite from the meteorite NWA 1195 , the space agency will dissolve the anorthosite and shergottite to bring forth lunar and martian mineral body of water in which thirty new astronaut will be raised . “ These explorer will be potatoes , ” Mr. Keats reveals . “ They ’ll each be debar in a cup of extraterrestrial mineral water on toothpicks . ” A third mission will bring select potatoes into touch with other star , incinerate - out sunshine that supplied the naked material for our solar system , leftover of which are preserved as nanodiamond in rarefied carbonaceous meteorites . launch October 4th , and open for public observation on weekday , these three missions will serve as preparation for a return to the Moon and the first experience of Mars and other sunlight by humans on October 21st .
“ Richard Branson ’s Virgin Galactic has been bid $ 200,000 tickets for five minutes of suborbital flight with a 2012 launching escort , ” says Mr. Keats . “ We do n’t see why people should have to wait so long to experience so niggling at such a gamey monetary value . ” Situated at Modernism Gallery in San Francisco , LASA ’s exotourism federal agency will employ the revolutionary engineering Mr. Keats developed for succulents and murphy . “ human beings are n’t so dissimilar from plants . People can just booze up the mineral water , and absorb these alien environments . ”
In sheath you were wondering : Yes , this “ press release ” is part of the scifi level that Keats is telling about this cosmonaut experiment . It reminds us that Earth and outer blank space are not really two unlike things . Earth is part of outer space – the total surface of our satellite is littered with debris from other worlds and other star system .
The Local Air & Space Administration will launch exploratory missions atCalifornia State University , Chico on October 4 , 2010 , with a public possible action of LASA ’s headquarters on Monday , October 4th from 5:00 to 7:00 necropsy .
An opening reception for the Local Air & Space Administration ’s exotourism bureau will be concur atModernism Gallery in San Franciscoon October 21 , 2010 from 5:30 to 8:00 phase modulation .
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