Chick - Fil - A , the disturbingly pleasant-tasting firm intellectual nourishment chicken chain and shielder of traditional family line values , does not sanction of things like gay wedding . They do , apparently , approve of sons and their moms garnish up like knights and queens and then going out on date together , because they just institute the infinitely worrisome “ Date Knight ” promotion .
Yes , at 49 of the company ’s DC - area restaurants ( and select other locations ) , customer are encouraged — actively bucked up — to garb up in medieval dress and go on female parent - son dates to Chik - Fil - A , obviously . From the actual imperativeness release sent by the actual companionship :
“ During this special medieval - theme evening , mama and their Son are encourage to spend some time together while they enjoy dinner party , outstanding conversation and several special activities . Every Mother - Son pair will also get a office mat with fun questions and topics to get the conversation started , and a take - home pamphlet that provides idea for future dates and doubt that both ma and their sons can ask each other . ”
As an investigate reporter , I discovered some of the head featured in this folder , that mothers and sons can ask each other over their pleasant-tasting , God - fearing poulet sandwiches :
• “ Why are we doing this ? ”
• “ Is something wrong with us ? ”
• “ Will no one else date us ? Is that the problem ? ”
• “ How far can you expect to get with your mammy on a first date ? Like , what base ? take up we hit it off ? ”
• “ How much did Chick - fil - A have to pay off to buy the domain nameMotherSonDate.com , where the felicitous ‘ duo ’ can reserve a tabular array for their ‘ dates , ’ and how much wholly terrific smut was on the situation before they buy it ? ”
• “ What kind of masses would reserve a table at a quick food restaurant ? I signify , besides the form of people that require to have sex with their moms ? ”
• “ Why the knightly topic ? ”
• “ Specifically , why the medieval theme when one of the most democratic shows in America is Game of Thrones , which is not only full of enough violence , sex and nakedness to make Chick - Fil - A CEO S. Truett Cathy ’s school principal explode with its sheer depravity , but star the master royal mother - son mating , Cersei and Joffrey , in which Joffrey is already a product of incest ? ”
• “ On that bill , why call it a ‘ appointment ’ at all ? Why not call it anything less creepy-crawly , like a meet - up , or stick time , or a family appointment or something ? ”
• “ Does Chick - fil - A not make love the the mother - son date matter would be creepy-crawly enough on its own , but adding the medieval cosplay just make it feel like sexual perversion of the in high spirits order ? ”
• “ Even you somehow believe if gay spousal relationship ( which Chick - Fil - A really spend its profit to protest ) would somehow harm the sanctity of traditional traditional marriage , would n’t the Oedipal incubus of sons trying to ‘ engagement ’ their mother be infinitely more harmful ? Especially since in most cases , these mothers would still be married to the fathers , and thus burst up actual marraiges ? ”
• “ Seriously , does Chick - Fil - A hate queerness so much they would rather watch sons fuck moms amongst a bed of Chick - Fil - A chicken nuggets and their accompanying dipping sauce rather than let cheery people marry ? ”
• “ Wait , is this just what turns Chick - Fil - A executives on ? ”
• “ Are the Chick - Fil - A executives watching these dates , frantically masturbating behind the bass fryers ? Is this what ’s going on ? Is this some sort of outre scheme to make incest pornography footage that Chick - Fil - A can sell for pure earnings ? ”
• “ They ’re going to put the footage ofMotherSonDate.comwhen this is all over , are n’t they ? ”
plain , I kid the super - creepy-crawly , incredibly poorly thought - out promotional effort . Although I will say this : if you insist on taking your female parent out on a particular date , please , for the love of whatever you imagine holy , take her someplace nicer than Chick - Fil - A.
[ ViaArlNow ]
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