Photo: Getty
What is cyberbullying?
There’s cyberbullying, and then there’s teen drama. Bullying is using the online space to harass, threaten, coerce or put fear into the heart of someone else. The difference between teen drama and actual cyberbullying is intent. But for some kids intent doesn’t matter. For them it’s hurtful regardless.
Why can communicating online rather than in person cause hurt feelings?
If you shoot something off on your phone, what’s lost is an immediate response in terms of facial expression or body language. A friend may send something thinking he or she is teasing another friend, but when it’s received four hours later—and the mood is different—it’s hurtful. Kids on both ends of that communication need to be aware of how it might be received.
RELATED CONTENT: Shawn Mendes, Lady Gaga & More Stars Who’ve Open Up About the Bullying They Faced as Kids
How do girls experience cyberbullying differently?
Cyberbullying is much more prevalent among girls than among boys. And that’s because traditional girl bullying is psychological warfare, and traditional boy bullying is physical warfare. The online space is one of psychological warfare.
How can parents know if their kid is experiencing bullying or teen drama?
It’s a continuum rather than a cutoff. It’s not like there’s a tipping point where all of a sudden it’s bad. The key thing is to keep communication open with your kid. We need to parent kids in their digital lives, not to discipline them or punish them but to guide and mentor them—and to be available when they are in a situation that they can’t quite figure out.
Are monitoring apps a good way for parents to keep track of kids' online behavior?
Monitoring apps don’t work, because kids hack around everything. What happens is the parent puts on the app and says, “Everything’s cool now.” And they stop paying attention. That breaks the cardinal rule of “stay in connection with your kids.” We’ve made the mistake of treating smartphones like toys and not as the power tools they are. When our kids start driving, we don’t just toss them the keys. We sit next to them, white-knuckled in the front seat, as they learn. And yet we don’t do the same with smartphones even though they can be just as lethal.
What should parents do if their child is a victim of online bullying?
The important thing is helping your kid feel confident in sharing what’s going on — even if they’re not sure something bad is going on — and depressurizing the situation. There’s a wide gray area of is this drama or is this bullying? And in many ways, it helps not to label it bullying, but to leave it in the drama space. Not to normalize it or say it’s okay, but say, “Let’s see this as a problem that we can solve together.”
And what if you discover your kid has been bullying someone else or sending inappropriate content?
How can parents help their kids be better at online communication?
source: people.com
