Wedding planning expert Nishma Mistry; Missed RSVP cards.Photo:SWNS
SWNS
An Atlanta woman is standing up for frustrated couples trying to finalize their wedding head counts.
After hearing from a number of brides that their friends and family failed to RVSP to their wedding invitations, Nishma Mistry, creator ofAsian Bride Sorority, had an idea. The 39-year-old wedding planning expert told SWNS she wrote a “missed RVSP” message for couples to print on cards and send to their unresponsive guests.
“I see the frustration of not getting RSVPs back. I thought, ‘Let me draft something,’ " explained Mistry, who celebrated her own wedding 14 years ago.
The message reads: “We’re sorry you can’t make it to our wedding. Our RSVP deadline has passed and you unfortunately did not respond. We would have loved to have you attend but final numbers have now been turned in and your presence will be missed.”
Nishma Mistry’s “missed RSVP” message.SWNS
Mistry said the etiquette issue is particularly challenging for her company’s membership community, as South Asian weddings often have hundreds of guests and span several days of events.
She recalled planning her own nuptials and having to undertake the tedious and time-consuming task of calling all of her 550 guests to confirm their attendance so she could finalize her catering order and make a reception seating plan.
“I had to call everyone and ask, ‘Are you coming?’ It was such a waste of time,” she explained. “You have a list the size of your arm to get done and you’re trying to appease everyone. People don’t understand the importance of responding back.”
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Mistry said the response to her “missed RSVP” concept has been mixed. “I got criticism of it being too harsh,” she said of the message she wrote. “People are saying it is a bit tacky.”
“But people have the invite for four months — it’s inconsiderate,” she argued.
Nishma Vistry, creator of Asian Bride Sorority.SWNS
“I absolutely love it,” one person raved. “The people who have a problem with it are the people who would not RSVP.”
Another chimed in, “I wish I did this. Even people who did RSVP didn’t show up. It made me so angry thinking about all the money we spent on them.”
In a 2023 interview with PEOPLE, etiquette expert andThe Swann School of Protocolfounder Elaine Swann noted how important it is for guests toanswer wedding RSVPsin a timely manner — even if they’re not planning to attend.
“It’s important to respond to the wedding invitation because the bride and groom are relying on that information to plan their wedding,” she said. “Oftentimes people feel as though if they’re not going to attend, they should not respond, but you should.”
Swann added, “And then, of course, utilize the response method that the couple has provided, whether it’s mailing a card back or responding online.”
source: people.com
